


Stay out of the light

by BaekwDae



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Blood, Death, M/M, Minor Violence, Murder, Self-Hatred, Vampire Turning, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 18:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14170479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaekwDae/pseuds/BaekwDae
Summary: “I didn’t kill you because I thought that such a precious being should live for eternity.”





	Stay out of the light

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #: M65  
> Pairing: Kyungsoo/Jongdae  
> Monster(s): Vampires  
> Rating: Mature  
> Warnings: death, murder, blood  
> Word Count: 3, 629  
> Author's Note: Thank you, mods, for your patience and for this fest! Also a huge thank you for my two betas, you both did an amazing job!  
> I really enjoyed writing this, as it was something different from what I usually write. Hope you’ll all enjoy!

The white puff of his breath disappeared into the darkness, as he hid behind the corner. Once again checking that no one else was there, he crouched behind the bin, ready to attack; even if the streets were still empty. He couldn’t help it - his whole body _ached_. The strange excitement that was growing inside of him was infecting his thoughts, living on its own.

 

His nose caught just a few faint delicious smells but they were still far away for Kyungsoo to not act on his urges. He was cautious enough to put as much distance between himself and any large crowds. The temptation that could push him to dive right into the mass of bodies would be too strong. He preferred to wait in solitude for some unfortunate stray from whom he could finally drink and reduce his thirst.

 

Just the thought of it made him shiver. He sunk his nails into his palms to remind himself to behave and to not search for his next victim himself. However, the longing to feel the taste of their heartbeat on his tongue, to ravage and suck them dry remained, and only grew stronger.

 

It had been far too long since his last feeding, he was painfully aware now, while his body trembled uncontrollably. The thirst served as a painful reminder that he was no longer human, that he was different. The perpetual dryness in his throat and the itch to sink his teeth through flesh was what prevailed in the end and robbed him of his former self.

 

Again.

 

But that didn’t mean he was not willing to fight. Even now, he could see lines of red all over his hands, his palms, as he had tried to take control to save the last bit of his humanity that he clung to so desperately. He waited, surviving through the agony, exhaustion, and half-madness, but the self-preservation always took over.

 

No matter how much he wanted to convince himself that he was better than this – that he was not a complete monster – it was a long lost truth.

 

Incoming steps stole his attention, and his body tensed instinctively. This was his chance, he thought, as he once again checked his surroundings, finally seeing his victim. The whole street seemed to be void of anyone else, the moon high in the sky, and along with the dimmed street lamps, provided the only source of light.

 

The person nearing him was a young male, quite small, but he should be enough to get Kyungsoo through a few more days. He was humming an unfamiliar melody, with a small spring in his step, despite the gloominess of the late night. The sound was captivating and Kyungsoo was thankful to his heightened sense of hearing. He used to love music, back when he was still human, but he deprived himself of it since his transformation. He chose to live in silence. He didn’t deserve the joy that came from music, not anymore.

 

The reality was that he hadn’t heard something so heavenly in such a long time.

 

He dipped further into the shadows, to avoid the possibility of the man seeing him, waiting until he passed him by. The man continued his walk, seemingly oblivious to another presence in the shadows.

 

Though really, even if he knew, he wouldn’t really stand a chance against the vampire, anyway.

 

Kyungsoo leaped.

 

Quickly, he pushed the man to the ground, not even giving him enough time to scream. With practised movements, he took his flailing wrists in one hand, pinning them down. The vampire frantically pulled away the scarf that was protecting the man from the cold weather, and bore his neck. Eagerly, Kyungsoo leaned in.

 

The sweetest taste flooded his mouth as his fangs pierced the vein, bringing a wave of relief as he closed his eyes. The man underneath him jerked in panic, but couldn’t do much in Kyungsoo’s deathly grip. He continued to struggle, his limbs becoming weaker and weaker, as Kyungsoo took more from him; the man’s body was soon stilling. Only soft whimpers could be heard from him now and the vampire knew that it wouldn’t take long.

 

He noticed that even during his feeding, he was still very much focused on the man’s voice, which sounded flawless even as he trembled in pain. Kyungsoo dug his fangs deeper just for a chance to hear another troubled groan, one that sent shivers down his spine.

 

In sudden curiosity to see the man’s face, he looked up; and just a flash of the unblemished skin was enough to make him freeze. In a second, he noted the long fluttering lashes struggling not to hide the pretty brown eyes, the curls on the ends of his lips all twisted and broken. Kyungsoo gasped quietly. He might have lived through centuries and visited countries all over the world, but he had never seen someone so beautiful. Even as they were dying.

 

His mouth parted from the man’s neck to get a better look, to discover and take in his other unique features.  He was not even aware of his actions. The man was shaking with fear, terrified eyes fixed on Kyungsoo even when they kept closing against his will, as expected from the quantity of blood that Kyungsoo already took from him. His breathing was laboured, his skin clammy. His weak attempt of getting away from the vampire went unsuccessful, but he still tried. Perhaps, he still hadn’t realized that his life had slipped from him a long while ago, the moment that Kyungsoo first laid his eyes on him.

 

Kyungsoo just continued to watch him in wonder, even after the man finally lost consciousness, his body going limp. 

 

...

 

Kyungsoo made a choice.

 

He wasn’t proud of it, no. Not when it meant taking someone’s life, treating it like it was his own. He didn’t believe he had the right to kill or to turn someone. But he could justify the killing as it was necessary for his _own_ survival. But to take someone’s identity, to change them into a blood-sucking monster and force them into a life of hell for eternity – he couldn’t justify that.

 

He still didn’t know why he wasn’t thinking of this when the man’s life was being drained right in front of his eyes; when he chose to quietly observe rather than ending the man’s suffering.

 

He failed to find any real reason, simply coming to the conclusion that the man – Jongdae, as Kyungsoo found out from his wallet – made him _feel_ things that he had previously deliberately repressed – feelings he had given up on and forgotten.

 

The man was lying lifeless on Kyungsoo’s bed, still as pretty after death as he had been before it. The windows were darkened, so Kyungsoo turned on the lights occasionally, making Jongdae come back to life under artificial lights that casted fake colour on his cheeks. He looked almost like he was sound asleep.

 

Kyungsoo never thought of himself as shallow, but he would gladly look at the man for as long as he was in front of him.

 

He had spent the previous two days watching him, drinking in the sight of the man, his relaxed face as he was no longer in pain, which honestly suited him much better. He didn’t mean to observe him so extensively, but he hadn’t had company for nearly two-hundred years; let alone had someone so attractive in his presence.

 

Some foolish part of him thought that maybe, who could blame him for wanting to keep something like this for himself?

 

The slightest twitch of the man’s wrist stopped his thoughts and he quickly fixated his gaze towards Jongdae’s fluttering eyelids. It was just a matter of time – he could wake up any second. Kyungsoo looked forward to it as much as he feared it. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for the consequences it would bring.

 

He took a step closer, but still kept a respectful distance. This time, the man’s shoulder jerked, his right arm moving slightly to the edge of the bed. The vampire stood motionless, counting in his head.

 

After 538 tense seconds, Jongdae’s eyes opened.

 

Kyungsoo was prepared for anything, but he was still taken by surprise when Jongdae immediately whipped his head in his direction, eyeing him intensely. In a split second Jongdae threw himself against him, quickly slicing up his wrist with a small blade that he took out from his pocket.

 

Jongdae went livid, eyes mad as he chased after the trickling droplets of blood, his tongue flickering hungrily along Kyungsoo’s skin. Kyungsoo groaned because he had forgotten what it felt like, the touch of lips from another being. He was mesmerized by the dark orbs that were watching him like they wanted to skin him alive.

 

Eventually though, the strong jaw lessen its pressure around his wrist and let Kyungsoo go.

 

Jongdae’s whole body went stiff as he pulled his head back, having realised his current position and his actions. Now that he got rid of the deadly hunger and had some precious moments to think clearly, to _remember_ , everything downed up on him. His eyes went wide with terror, looking up at Kyungsoo as he kneeled in front of him.

 

Things from now were going to be difficult. Because as Kyungsoo already knew, there was an undesired aftermath – for both of them.

 

Their gazes met for a few peaceful moments. At least that was how Kyungsoo saw it.

 

A piercing scream cut through the air and Kyungsoo jumped back, alarmed, preparing himself for danger. Jongdae mimicked his actions, still screaming as he retreated into the furthest corner, traces of Kyungsoo’s blood still evident in the curled corners of his lips.

 

Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if he should try to calm him down or at least explain to him what had happened. These things didn’t come easily to him, since he’d never have to do it before, so he decided to rather wait and see what the man would do.

 

The number of vampires in the world was small, but people had known about them for as long as Kyungsoo could remember. Some chose to believe that they were just scary monsters of the night, good for fairy-tales and getting children to behave. Some naive ones went after them, staying up all night long to gather as much information as they could – and paid their lives for it, too. Others just went on with their usual routines, thinking that meeting with vampires was something that surely wouldn’t happen to them – and some were right. But then there were unlucky ones like Jongdae, who ended up in the living nightmare.

 

Jongdae closed his mouth shut, moving his dirtied, shaking hands in front of his face, examining them like he was seeing them for the first time. His gaze remained fleeting to Kyungsoo’s every few seconds, wary.

 

“No,” Jongdae whispered brokenly in the end, blood gathering in the corners of his eyes.

 

He lowered his head into his hands, pulling his knees towards his chest, muttering his denials. He hid himself in the little ball, heart-wrecking sobs racking his body. “No.”

 

A strange feeling, an uncomfortable tugging in his chest, unsettled Kyungsoo. He didn’t know what it meant. He couldn’t hear or see anything except for the crying man.

 

Kyungsoo didn’t even realize he had moved until he stood in front of the other. He dropped to his knees slowly, until he was at eye-level with Jongdae who unwrapped himself to find out what was going on. His stare on Kyungsoo was heavy with despair, pleading with every fibre of his being for help. However, both of them knew that it was far too late.

 

There was certain elegance in the red tears that trailed down like two small rivers, joining even the smaller ones on his lips, mixing together. The sight was so stunning, Kyungsoo couldn’t look away. He himself never cried even once since he was turned, knowing it wouldn’t help anything. Crying for him was useless, but seeing it now, he had to admit it had its own beauty to it.

 

How he longed to drag his lips along the tears, to kiss them way and press the touch into his memories – but he should do what he originally came here for.

 

“Sing,” he spurred Jongdae on, nodding when the man crunched his eyebrows.  Kyungsoo knew how weird it probably sounded, but Jongdae evidently didn’t question it, mind too tired from the pain and grief. It wasn’t like he had anything more to lose.

 

He opened his mouth slightly, letting out hesitant unsteady notes. His voice was thick, still partly sounding like he was crying. Fortunately, he begun to overcome it after a few deep breaths, his voice getting stronger and louder. Kyungsoo recognized the melody from earlier when the man was humming on the street, and he was once again reminded of how good his voice really was.

 

He hoped, selfishly, that this wouldn’t be the last time that he was hearing it.

 

After what Kyungsoo presumed was the end of the song, Jongdae closed his mouth, the blood long dried on his cheeks, as well as on his chin. His orbits were still clinging to Kyungsoo’s, lost and questioning.

 

“I saw you humming earlier and it looked like it made you happy so I thought...” Kyungsoo trailed off, knowing damn well that it wasn’t enough. It didn’t mean that things were or ever would be alright.

 

Still not finding the right words to say and unable to tear his eyes away, Kyungsoo whispered: “You’re beautiful.”

 

Jongdae didn’t answer, almost like he didn’t even notice that he had spoken.

 

Kyungsoo reached out his hand, gently touching like his face was something indescribably fragile, wiping the blood from his cheeks.

 

Jongdae allowed him to, far too numb to care.

 

...

 

“Why?” Jongdae asked the next day. His voice was hoarse because of all the time he spent singing, though so far he hadn’t spoken to Kyungsoo at all. This was the first word Kyungsoo heard from him, that was spoken directly to him, and it caught him completely off guard. He wasn’t sure how, but after so many years he spent being dead, he was able to feel butterflies in his stomach.

 

To be completely honest, the attack was a result of Kyungsoo’s hunger, bad timing and poor-self-control. Kyungsoo told him as much.

 

“But,” he adds with a small smile because this still wasn’t the full story, “I didn’t kill you because I thought that such a precious being should live for eternity.”

 

It didn’t sound great but it was the plain truth, and Jongdae deserved to know that, at least.  He supposed that it was all that should matter at the moment.

 

However, Jongdae’s mouth twisted with anger. Kyungsoo was at lost with what to do.

 

They were still in the same old room, only darker and the air heavier, but Jongdae didn’t try once to go out. Maybe he feared how different the world might seem, now that he was on the other side of the coin.

 

Jongdae lost everything – his family, his friends, his home – even if it was still right _there._ No transformation or any kind of death was quite as painful as your loved ones staring at you with fear, pleading for their lives. He couldn’t possibly go back ever again. He was now condemned to spend the rest of his existence as a walking corpse.

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t really understand Jongdae, even when he too had tried hard to go through the memories of how life used to be when he was turned. When he woke up, there wasn’t anyone beside him. He had to go through it all on his own. Nobody looked after him or told him what to do. He had to learn the hard way to trust only himself and find out if living like this was worth it. So rather, he thought that Jongdae was kind of fortunate, actually.

 

There was no doubt that Jongdae would never forgive him – but a little part of him hoped that the other would soon – eventually – come to terms with it, learn to live with it. Kyungsoo supposed that only time could help him with that.

 

For now, Kyungsoo just crouched next to him, reaching out for his swollen cheeks, not minding Jongdae’s slight flinch.

 

...

 

When the time finally came, it wasn’t exactly unexpected.

 

“I can’t-,” Jongdae wheezed harshly, hands around his own neck in a deathly grip, his nails slowly penetrating the soft skin.

 

“Jongdae,” Kyungsoo talked to him in the most comforting tone he could muster, his own hands uncertainly hanging above Jongdae’s. “We’ll just find you some-“

 

Jongdae shook his head vigorously, panic raising up in him.

 

Two days passed since his last feeding, when Kyungsoo offered him his own blood. However now, when the transformation was completed, vampire’s blood wouldn’t be enough for him anymore. He needed some good old human blood, preferably fresh.

 

But Jongdae still attempted to fight against it and the sight was so familiar, Kyungsoo’s heart _hurt._

 

“If you choose to starve to death, it will come to you slowly and painfully. It’ll drive you insane and in your last seconds, you’re going to give up anyway. You’ll eventually kill someone. Trust me,” Kyungsoo whispered, his mind far away, lost in his own memories, clear as day before his own eyes.

 

“I’ll never be like you,” Jongdae hiccupped, his breaths heavy, struggling to say as much. But the truth was, the harder you fight, the more painful the fall.

 

Kyungsoo shook his head, not minding his words. He could see that Jongdae was already losing, inch by inch, closer to the edge where his own madness would swallow him whole.

 

He looked close to tearing his neck open, desperate enough to separate himself from the very last bit of his hunger, pure darkness behind his half-closed eyelids. His eyes like a mirror, Kyungsoo’s own selfishness staring right back at him.

 

“Don’t make it harder than it needs to be,” Kyungsoo grunted, grabbing hold of Jongdae’s wrist, forcefully dragging him up.

 

Jongdae let him.

 

...

 

Kyungsoo was lucky to be staying near the centre of the city, full of life even at this hour, with plenty of clubs and pubs at every corner, with plenty of people who were looking for a bit of fun to drown the drags of everyday reality.

 

Despite Kyungsoo’s concerns about the possible traumatic memories Jongdae would have to face, the blood-lust in his expression and his eager sensitivity to all kind of smells averted all of them. In fact, he had a tight grip on the nape of Jongdae’s neck, in case he would snap and run inside one of the buildings. Because judging by the state he was in, it wasn’t that far from happening. Even Kyungsoo felt all kinds of restless, being so near to the possibility of feeding.

 

It really wasn’t worth it, though. Humans made a fuss out of the littlest things and another massacre surely wouldn’t look good.

 

Jongdae sucked in a sharp breath, having caught a delicious scent of a young-looking girl, her skin and veins wonderfully exposed in a short tank-top. He leaned forward, threatening to expose their hiding place behind the tall bush and Kyungsoo quickly grabbed his wrist with his hand, his other one squeezing his nape.

 

Wild eyes glared at him but they dropped eventually, Jongdae nodding reluctantly as he came back to his senses. This simply wasn’t the right time; they spotted her friends coming to her, laughing, carefree and loud.

 

Jongdae was starting to shake slightly from the pain and Kyungsoo made a decision that if someone wouldn’t come to them in the next ten minutes, he would get Jongdae home, then go to the nearest club, kill someone in the stall and drag them here for Jongdae to drink.

 

Luckily, only seven minutes tickled by and a young male, looking no older than Jongdae himself, staggered their way, his pink hair easily noticeable. He was giggling, propping himself up against the wall, dangerously close to losing balance. 

 

He looked far too drunk to care about the world around him and maybe far too young to die, but that wasn’t what mattered right now.

 

He was making his way towards them, completely alone, with his hand still holding onto the wall for support as he walked, his legs all confused. Jongdae was practically on his tiptoes, his lips trembling, swallowing thickly.

 

It seemed almost too easy as Kyungsoo tapped Jongdae’s side, giving him the cue. Jongdae didn’t waste a second more.

 

Not having a chance to stop him, the man stumbled as his body was forcefully pushed, falling to the ground with Jongdae on top of him.

 

It was messy and not nearly as neat as Kyungsoo liked to do it. The man’s build wasn’t really all that impressive, but it would probably be enough for Jongdae. They didn’t have to kill anyone else tonight.

 

Watching Jongdae’s form, hungrily sucking and moaning in pleasurable relief, did wonderful things to Kyungsoo. He felt a weird sense of pride, alongside the tiniest bit of shame and a different kind of hunger.

 

His heart along with his emotions died years ago – however, this man bought them back to life, it seemed.

 

When Jongdae turned to him, satisfied after the body finally stopped fighting, he flashed him a wide smile. He was still high on pleasure, all red cheeks and blood-traced teeth, so bright that it put the stars to shame. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure how long it would last before the remorse set in, but for now he reached out his hand to help Jongdae to stand.

 

Jongdae took it.


End file.
